RED DWARF coming to Dave this Easter.
Firstly let me tell explain about Dave. The Dave in question here is not my mate. He is not the guy next door. And he is not a forgotten character from the show. Dave, for those who do not venture into the upper echelons of their remote control a little watched TV channel here in the UK available from all the usual digital TV suppliers (Sky, Virgin, Freeview).
Mostly Dave shows repeats of Top Gear. Lots and lots of repeats of Top Gear. It also shows some other shows that people called Dave would like to watch. Past episodes of Dragon’s Den, The Catherine Tate Show and archived episodes of A Question of Sport. Basically Dave is repeat TV aimed at guys who don’t get out much.
Recently though Dave made an announcement that has me excited. Very, very excited. Dave has found some money down the back of the sofa and managed to scrape together enough to make their own show.
First they thought of stealing an idea from 30 Rock and making their own version of MILF Island. The executives vetoed it though in fear of a ghetto beat down by Tina Fey.
Then Joey, the boy in charge of rewinding the Top Gear tapes, had an idea; ‘lets make a show where three guys test drive cars and go on wacky car adventures’. This too was vetoed in fear of Clarkson and his hair getting the hump and taking back his video collection.
So running out of ideas the TV execs at Dave decided to have a brain storming session with all eight members of the Dave staff. And Outside the Box has exclusive access to the minutes from that meeting.*
Dave TV Brainstorming Minutes.
Dave Davids CEO and Channel Founder – OK we have some money. We need a show to get people watching this channel or we will all be out of work come the summer.
{20 minutes of silence}
Joey – ahhh how about a show with four guys driving cars…
Dave Davids – shut up Joey! We already warned you about the wrath of Clarkson. If he takes those tapes back then we are all in the shit!
{12 minutes of silence}
Timmy the tea-boy – ahhh how about a space show… you know set in space.
Dave Davids – go on…
Timmy – well you know it could be about the last guy in the universe, who only has a cat and a hologram to keep him company.Oh and we can find a hottie to throw into the cast to keep the geeks happy!
Dave Davids – Timmy you are a genius! That would be perfect. Just the kind of blue-sky thinking we need around here…
Timmy the tea boy was later promoted to Head of Original Programming which is when he discovered that his idea was actually the same as Red Dwarf, a show that appeared on BBC2 a decade ago. Not wanting to get caught out and demoted back to fetching the tea Timmy contacted the BBC. The nice guys at the Beeb laughed at Timmy but gave him permission to re-make the show on the agreement that he would get the original cast back. “No problem BBC people. They aren’t doing anything anyway… well except for Craig, he’s on Corry, but I am sure he will do it.”
And Timmy was right. Craig Charles was happy to do it… he would be happy to do anything that got him away from Norris and Blanche. The others as well were happy to oblige, after all panto season was still months away.
*actually I made it all up…
